Chapter 57 – Harsh, spartan conditions

Author’s note: Second and final chapter for today. As I’ve said in the previous chapter, I don’t feel too well today, so I’ll release the third chapter tomorrow, when I’m better.

Sincere thanks to OutspanFoster for donating.

You can vote for my fiction on topwebfiction: Vote for Loiterous!

Enough of the rant, enjoy the read.

Getting dragged out of my apartment like the worst criminal there is, I couldn’t have imagined being more embarassed.
All of my neighbours looked at me as if I was some child molester…

*sigh* I have taken a liking to this place over the years.
Why do troubles always befall me?

From now on I’ll be branded as an outcast, someone who’s done something so terrible, that his doors were forced in, and he had to be dragged out by law enforcement…

There were two police vehicles stationed right in front of my apartment.
One of the policemen hurled me inside one of these cars like some kind of a trash.

These fuckers didn’t even bother to inform me about my rights…

Turning the sirens on to add some dramaturgy to the whole event, I was “escorted” by these kind men to their precinct.

During the ride, I was mocked and laughed at.

“That was the easiest bust in my life!”

“I wish we had more calls like that!”

“You okay over there, little guy?”

Saying that I wanted to strangle all of them with my bare hands would be an understatement.

Located in the east of the town precinct was shared between two bordering towns.

Lieutenant: Guess who we’ve caught? It’s a druggie!

Round of applause echoed throughout the room, making me feel even more disgusted.
Shameless bastards, not only are they framing me but also taking pleasure from it.
Just you wait till I get my hands on all of you…

Chief of police: Good work, lieutenant. Throw this mongrel into the cell.

Is this the man in charge?

Icicle: I want a lawyer!

Chief of police: I’m very sorry, young man, we’re currently overloaded with work. Your request will take some time to proceed~.

Icicle: Shameless bastards!


Policeman: Stop barking, you maggot.

You wonder what happened…
That golden tooth guy just hit me in the stomach.

All of these shitheads smirked, visibly enjoying my suffering.

After that, I was thrown into a cell, still cuffed.

Icicle: Couldn’t you at least unrestrain me?!

Policeman: My apologies, I’ve lost the key, I’ll go look for another one. Please wait a moment~.

The cell I was thrown into was small, it had one bed and a trash bin.
You’re probably wondering about the toilet, well, there wasn’t one.

5 hours passed, no one came to uncuff me.
I was at my wit’s end, but what could I do?!
Screaming didn’t help, all of these fags just ignored me.

Being inside Loiterous for quite some time took a toll on me.


Hunger was letting me know that I’m still alive… that and the bursting bladder.
When I asked for “permission” to use the toilet from my new overlords, all I heard in response was snorting and derisive laughter.

Every “prisoner” except me was getting food.
Not only that, I’ve been laughed at straight at my face by all of these blue uniforms.

One of the supposed “bad guys” started shouting.

“Give that young man some food!”

All that did was get him a beating.
These men were trained, they knew how to hit so that it doesn’t leave any marks.

Policeman: You’ve been asking for food, mongrel? Here, eat my fist!

Three days passed like that.
No food, no toilet breaks, not even a glass of water and constant beatings.

My entire cell reeked of piss.
I had to use the trash bin as the container, what was I supposed to do, piss myself?
Even taking my pants off was a hassle. Pulling them up was even more of a challenge.
Somehow my other physiological need didn’t have to be taken care of.
At least for now…

My head was filled with thoughts of vengeance, cruel, merciless and ruthless one!
That’s when one of the most obnoxious policemen came over.

Policeman: Look who we have here! It’s your lawyer!

I swear to god, this gold tooth guy will suffer for eternity.
My new savior, the lawyer, was some young guy who probably just finished law school…
Great, an amateur.

Lawyer: W-Why is my client cuffed? Please unrestrain him.

Policeman: I’m very sorry, it had to be some kind of a mistake~.

Following the guy in the grey suit, we entered the interrogation room.

Lawyer: Please close the door.


Lawyer: Now that we’re alone, let me introduce myself. I’m Joe Anderson. your lawyer for this peculiar case. It’s a… pleasure to meet you, mister… um… Grand, that’s right, Mr Grand. By the way, I just have to tell you this… you need to bathe, you know? At least take a shower once in a while…

Great, he’s already pissing me off.

Icicle: …

Lawyer: Ekhm. Are you treated well, were your rights read to you? How about the interrogation? You weren’t forced to sign something, were you?

Nice change of subject, dork.

Icicle: Are you done?

Lawyer: If you don’t want my help then I can leave. Ask for another attorney and we’re done. I don’t want to do any pro bono either.

Icicle: You’re such a rookie. Ask for the monitoring to be taken care of. I don’t want to be listened to nor observed when I’m sharing potentially incriminating me information with my lawyer. Can you do that, greenhorn?

Lawyer: W-What? Have you studied law? This bio says you’re 20 years old, h-how…?

Icicle: Can you do your goddamn job first? We can proceed to the questions part afterwards.

It took that retard quite some time, but he finally got it right.
Cameras were turned off and supposedly the sound too.
Now whatever I say can’t be submitted to the court.

Icicle: Give me your phone.

Lawyer: W-What?

Icicle: Your phone, what, you don’t have one?

Lawyer: I-I do but, it’s not allowe-

Snatching this idiot’s phone, I dialed a familiar number.

Icicle: Bob? It’s me. I’m being held up by the police. Someone tried to frame me, I have no idea who yet. Tell everyone it’s code 3 and bring the cavalry. Get some cash as well, I need to pay my “appointed lawyer”. I’ll text you the address. Make sure this call doesn’t figure in any phone records. Yeah, see you soon.

I was in the middle of the texting when Joe decided to speak up.

Lawyer: W-W-What have you done?! Do you know how much trouble I can get into because of this?!

Deleting the call and the text from his “sent” folder, I returned the phone to its rightful owner.

Icicle: Trust me, greenhorn, you would be in far worse trouble if you didn’t lend me the phone. Do you have a business card at least?

Lawyer: O-O-Of course I have one! What respectable lawyer wouldn’t?

Icicle: Leave it on the table, I’ll have someone deliver you the payment later.

Lawyer: I’m not charging you, I wish I did, but it’s pro bono, it’s a service free of charge! Wait… you want to make me an accomplice…?

Maybe universities really educate these people…

Icicle: Look at you, suddenly being so smart. You’re already an accomplice. Pack your things up and get going. Say this line when you leave…

Walking out of the interrogation room, Joe did exactly as I told him to.

Lawyer: Hmph, such an easy case. You should just admit that you’re guilty of whatever the police is charging you for and be done with it! I’ll try to arrange a favorable deal for you in the meantime. See you soon.

Gold tooth was waiting near the entrance to “escort me” back.
There was no reason for him to eavesdrop…

Getting hurled into the cell again, at least this time, I had my hands free.
Fufufu, just a few more hours and I’ll make you all pay!

Inside the same precinct, chief of police’s office.

*knock knock*

Chief of police: Enter.

Gold tooth: Chief, I’ve got great news about that kid you told us to frame into drug dealing.

Chief: Go on.

Gold tooth: Grand’s lawyer told him, while leaving, that he should admit to whatever our charges for him are. It was a “loud discussion” so we can use that in court, right?!

Chief: Excellent. Bring that Grand kid here. I want to speak with him privately.

Gold tooth: Yes sir, right away.

Gold tooth: Grand, let’s go, chief of police wants to see you.

‘Chief wants to see me? What for?’

I was cuffed once again.

All the people that I’ve walked by started looking the other way.
It’s not that I looked ugly, well, maybe I am ugly, but the reason for their disgust was obvious – I smelled of piss and sweat.

Gold tooth: Here you go sir, I’ve brought Grand.

Chief: Thank you, you may leave.


Icicle: What am I doing here?

Chief: Sit down. I don’t want to break it to you, but you should really take a bath…*chuckle*

*sigh* That’s below the belt man…

Icicle: Thank you, but I’m good. So, what am I here for?

Keeping it calm, I tried to find out the reason of my “paid holidays”.

Chief: Possession of illegal substances of course.

Icicle: For one ounce of supposed amphetamine? No rights were read to me, not to mention your lieutenant didn’t even check what the substance was before he decided to cuff me. Don’t you dare bullshitting me. At least be a man and tell it to me straight. Not like anyone can support whatever I state in court.

Chief: Do you want to know what you’re really here for?

Icicle: Yes, please enlighten me.

Chief: Remember that kid that you’ve roughed up earlier today? He is my son, his name is Henry. You can’t even imagine what it feels like to look at your own son with utter feeling of disgust. Henry’s nose was broken in such an unshapely way that it made me want to puke! My baby boy will spend at least two weeks in the hospital, and it’s all because of you…!

Chief’s hands balled into fists.

So it was about that retard…!
Baby boy? He’s at least 25!
*sigh* This family screams “special syndrome”.

Icicle: I see. So instead of pressing the charges against me for an actual assault, you’re trying to frame me into drug dealing?

Chief: You’re smarter than you look, young one. See this drawer on my left side? There are all kinds of drugs there, that we, as the law enforcement use as “samples” to frame annoying citizens like you. Our investigation is far from done. We’ll have to search all of your property completely and then we’ll coincidentally happen to find a hidden compartment full of drugs. Quite a stroke of luck, don’t you think?

Icicle: So that’s why you’ve brought me here. Court order for thorough search will be issued then you’ll fake my neighbour’s testimony and look for non-existing evidence… Indeed, that is quite a professional police work.

Chief: Oh? So you know how we operate? That’s very interesting. There’s nothing about you learning about police force in your file. We couldn’t find your parents nor other relatives either. Even the schools we’ve called weren’t sure if you were a student there. You’re quite mysterious, aren’t you, Jeremy Grand?

Icicle: Instead of talking about me, how about you tell me a little about yourself? I’m going to be sent into some shithole and get anally raped by the thugs you sent after me anyways, won’t I? I’ll have someone to curse for eternity and you’ll ease your conscience by entertaining me a little.

Chief: Hahahaha. You’re such a weirdo, Jeremy Grand. Well, I have nothing to lose here, so why not. Before I do tell you anything, I would like to say that I really pity you. You’ve picked a fight with someone you shouldn’t mess with unwittingly… That’s a cruel fate, but one you’ll have to live with nonetheless. Now, where should I start…

Fufufu, yes, tell me all of your dirty little secrets, I’ll make your worst fears come true~!

Icicle: That’s quite an interesting biography. At least for one told from your own perspective.

Chief: Alright then, you’ve been here long enough. I’ll ask someone to return you to your cell, where you’ll await your trial. It was a pleasure meeting you, Jeremy Grand.

Icicle: The pleasure is mine, chief~.

Opening the door, the man in charge stood flabbergasted.

Chief: Th-These suits, what are they here for?

???: Is that room in front of me the chief’s office?

Policeman: Yes sir.

Five men in black suits walked into the office.

Bob: Special senior agent, Bob Harett, FBI. We’re here to take custody of Jeremy Grand.

Chief: C-Custody? What for? He’s safe in our premises!

Bob: This decision is not disputable. Why is the person in question cuffed and smelly? Young man, you look rather pale, did they treat you well?

Icicle: Drop the act and have me unrestrained already.

Bob: Right away sir. Keys.

Chief: H-Huh?

Bob: I said KEYS, NOW.

Reluctantly handing the keys over, chief of police was completely stunned.

Ahhh, freedom, I’ve missed you so much!
I feel like an american citizen once again…

Bob: Do you realize what you’ve done? This man is a very important informant, protected by the president of United States of America himself! Because of your fucking blunder, all of our heads are at stake now!

Chief: W-What do you mean an informant? He’s a drug dealer!

Bob: Drug dealer? He had an ounce, so what? This man is untouchable, you hear me? U-N-T-O-U-C-H-A-B-L-E. Here, I spelled it for you.

Icicle: My rights weren’t read to me, not to mention the beatings, no toilet breaks, starvation and not even a glass of water. Your superiors will learn of this very concerning incident shortly. I’ll make sure all of you are dealt with accordingly.

Bob: B-But sir, it’s not our fault…

Icicle: Why should I care? You let that happen so you take part of the blame.

Bob: P-Please, sir, give us a chance to redeem ourselves.

Kneeling before me, Bob made a pleading sign.
That’s too much of an act…

Icicle: Very well, how many cars have you guys brought?

Bob: Three cars, sir.

Icicle: It shall suffice. Follow me.

Chief: What are you doing?!

Larry: Please stand back. During our time here, this precinct is under Federal Bureau of Investigation’s control. I advice you refrain from interrupting our work, unless you want to be restrained and thrown into a cell.

Walking into the hall, I’ve seen all the smugfaces that were taking pleasure from torturing me.

Icicle: This guy, that one, these 2 idiots over there, guy with the gold tooth and that idiot sitting on the table. Take them all in.

Gold tooth: What’s going on, chief?

Chief: These men are from FBI, please follow their instructions…

Policeman: But chief, how can we just let ourselves be taken into custody?

Chief: Do what these people say.

Icicle: Bob, where are my clothes?

Gesturing to his subordinates, Bob handed me a black suit.

Icicle: Thank you. Oh, I forgot to tell you. All these guys are supposed to be cuffed. Restrain them.

Bob: Do what the man says.

Larry: Right away sir.

Policeman: What’s that supposed to mean?!

Gold tooth: Let us go, bastards!

Icicle: So, any bathrooms here, chief? I need to refresh myself.

Chief: T-There’s one to your left.

Icicle: Thank you.

Chief: Just who the hell are you…?

Icicle: Someone a small fish like YOU shouldn’t mess with.


31 thoughts on “Chapter 57 – Harsh, spartan conditions

  1. ooohhh now he has fbı as background eh after a few chapters if it reveals that jeremy s a bastard of us president i wont be suprised he can even be an apostle 😀


  2. BWAHAHAHAHAHA this is fucking awesome! i was at first like AW NO! and then i was like hehehehehehe and then i was all my MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA at the end of it all, so thanks 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ah, good chapter, i wondered when you would bring a bit more humor into the story. Protected by the president… wuhaha…. bad guys telling what they have done and their plans for world dominat… uh, no, for evil futures… harhar. That humor isn’t all that much a good fit with the previous story but then, it’s your story to write. 🙂


    • Well, I had to bring in some of that comedy stuff, I used that category after all… As I said earlier, I had rough night, so it might not have worked how I wanted it to work, so yeah… Cut me some slack 😛


  4. Bravo I honestly didn’t see this twist I was going more along the lines of a mafia (grandfather as my base theory, as all truly successful people in this world have to do things that others would feel uncomfortable about for jealously is a slut and loves to sleep with even the most trustworthy friends) but FBI huh i can see a very nice Arc explaining this. *hint hint* keep up the good work!

    Liked by 1 person

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