Important news – rewrite

Read till the end before you get disappointed.

First things first, I’m not dropping the story.

I’ve been mulling over it for quite some time and finally decided to make a final step – it’s time to improve.
Sometimes it’s better to let go, but no, unless I get struck by lightning or am sent to help Sisyphus roll the large stone to the top of the hill, I won’t drop Loiterous.

The story itself has an enormous potential, it’s just that my inexperience and stubborn first-person way of writing ruined it.

Okay, down to the questions I’ll probably be asked.

Why don’t you at least finish the current arc?

It’s actually pretty simple, there’s no point. With the characters popping left and right you’ll feel like it’s forced, making you read introductions of characters that span 2-3 chapters, when it can be done in a paragraph with third-person style.

With the way it was going, if I wanted to show all of the plot, I would probably have to write to the day I die and even that might not be sufficient. First-person taught me that it’s hard to show many things, especially what third-person excells in, showing us the true wondros feeling of reading – you are well aware of what other people think.

When can we expect the new chapters?

I would say at most in two weeks of time, although I’ll be busy during this upcoming month, there should be enough time for me to write at a decent pace, it’s all about the preparations though. First arc will be crucial.

Will something change or should we wait until the rewrite catches up?

A lot of things will change from the get-go. Players will finally make an appearance (instead of the current “ghost town”), there will be much more interaction between guilds, more of the world, better descriptions, more of Icicle’s organization, the devs and their motivation, how the things (mechanics) work and so on (I couldn’t show it in first person since Icicle didn’t know that).

Stats will also change. There will no longer be hundreds and thousands, it will go down exponentially, in the lines of 50 strength equals super elite early game player. All in all, it will be easier for the eyes and the brain.

Aren’t you afraid of adding too much? It can become a mumble-jumble.

That thought crossed my mind, but right now I have actually added too little. As a matter of fact, I would like some people to volunteer! You can become a beta reader or as I like to call it “quality checker”. Write me an email at tyhuko@gmail.com if you would like to participate. What I expect is that you share your experience after reading the chapter with me, for example “it was good/bad/so-so” and why do you feel that way. It really helps me understand things.

Okay, that’s enough of my rambling, any questions, grievances like “improve this and that” are most welcome, I’ll feel bad for a day and then improve, trust me, that is the best feeling in the world for an earnest author.

I’ll keep the previous chapters to make a “how-not-to write”.

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Chapter 97 – Three Winds Academy part 2

Author’s note: Next week should have at least 3 chapters.

“Queen Naga?” middle-aged lady looked incredulously at Sixxy, as if she saw a ghost.
Not minding her in the slightest, Sixxy took off, brandishing her swords against the lizard.

[Green-scaled Luokh] [Elite] [Lvl 200+]
Description: Lizard-like creatures which thrives in wetlands.

“That lizard is four times your level, have fun Sixxy” I said with a smile.
“The minotaurs were ten times my level.” Naga replied with a grin.

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Chapter 96 – Three Winds Academy part 1

Author’s note: My battle with the Windows took some time, so the chapters are released today >.> Sorry about that, got some unexpected viruses. Proofreading the next chapter at the moment, should be up within half an hour or so.

Raren City, Icicle’s POV

Arriving in Loiterous, I still had some time before I was supposed to enter the Mage Academy, so I went to the market to resupply.

Despite the current political shuffles, the streets were full of people, rowdy merchants and occasional passersby.
Now, that the options can effectively hide your name, it’s hard to distinguish players from NPCs, but there were obviously a lot of adventurers loitering around.

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Chapter 95 – Black Market

Author’s note: Alright, here’s the late chapter 95. There should be at least two more this week, pinky promise~.

Location Unknown, Black Market, Shady’s POV

Ah, it feels good to live a life of a rich person.
Having all this money on me, I truly feel like a king of the world.

Right after receiving these generous funds from that naive idiot Icicle Whitesnow, I used the [Black Market]’s allocated medallion and transferred to the [Black Market] area.
I have no idea where this place is located, only the ones in the inner circle know.

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Chapter 94 – Passage

Author’s note: HO HO HO! Have you guys been good? I hope you were. Here comes the christmas miracle – chapter 94.
As for the chapter 95, unfortunately, it has to be pushed to tomorrow.
My uneducated little sister required my undivided attention and guidance.
Math is a subject her tiny brain can hardly register. T___T

Anyways, hope you enjoy this one and see you guys tomorrow~.

Mountain passage on the border of Minaeryth Kingdom and Acalen Kingdom, Karias’s POV

“Leader, we’re losing on the left flank! Send some reinforcements!”

“Right flank is barely holding, we need some help as well!”

“Alright, I’ll send them right over!” I was turning desperate, but I couldn’t let it show.
As a leader of the [Waning Moon], I knew that our situation was hopeless.

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Chapter 93 – I’m staying!

Author’s note: Next chapter tomorrow!

At the bar near Icicle’s house, Lisa’s POV

There were only a few customers at this time of the day.
Few men were furtively glancing at me, did I overdress?

*creak*

The doors slowly opened and I saw Icicle walk in.
It was funny to see him looking around as if he was lost.
I took my seat at the corner of this… establishment, so it definitely wasn’t a conspicuous place.

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Chapter 92 – Selection

Author’s note: Was supposed to be released yesterday, but life happened. I apologize for the delay.

BEFORE YOU READ: I am trying a new style, that is, as you will notice normal dialogues with more narrative from characters.
It feels easier to write and express things that way.
The other thing is that it gives off the book-like feeling instead of breaking the flow every time.
Let me know what you think, if it appears as passable, I’ll adjust the rest of the chapters during my revisement.


 

Loiterous, Raren City, Princess Saress’s Castle

Sitting on a chair, I was eyed by three people.
One of them was of course the angry strawberry, Saress.
The other one was an old man who was stroking his white beard, Raren City’s Mage Guild’s Guildmaster – Hylzar.
Next to Saress was a young lady, dressed like a modern assistant, incessantly trying to pacify her – Carret.

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